Drum roll please! Tada! Here is the cover art design for Spoonful Chronicles-A novel with recipes.
We were shopping for Halloween costumes for the kids when I saw this frantic woman dummy screaming in a made up elevator shaft and I was touched with the depth of her anguish. I decided to video tape her and put her in this coffee meme 12 seconds video.
I love coffee. Love it to bits. Everyday I wake up and look forwards to my first cup of it. I probably should write a poem about it. Puts a smile on my face every single time. The smell of coffee makes me want to dance. What’s not to like about coffee? It smells fantastic. It tastes good. It gives me a buzz. Elevates my mood. Contains zero calories. Love the color of it once I add a bit of milk. Coffee is my best friend in the world. If I don’t have any coffee at all then I am miserable mess. I become cranky. You don’t want to be around me in that state. And so I decided to make a “before coffee” and “after coffee” meme. Miserable screaming monster is turned into a happy delightful singing to the birds Snow White.
Do you have a favorite coffee meme? If yes, please share it with me.
This is the story of Snow White Tarantino style.
Pot-bellied Snow White gorges herself on blueberry pancakes after a revenge killing spree. Wait until Prince Charming gets a hold of all this….how will he react?
Watch this video first and then read the full story below.
“Mirror mirror on the wall, who has killed the most of all” Asked the queen.
On this day, unlike all the days that came before it, there was a new answer.
The Seven Short Psychopaths in Black Suits
Each one was named after his favorite method. Strangler. Shooter. Cleaver. Author used a sharp pen. Crusher, Poison and Tickler. All seven where happy to meet a woman who didn’t try to change them.
Now if this was a proper Quentin Tarantino story it would be peppered with the N-word. Our narrator refused to cooperate with our effort towards authenticity. So you have to use your imagination.
The Queen appeared in Snow White’s car.
“Hey, young woman, would you like a burger?”
“No thank you!”
“But this is a french burger. Do you know what they call these in France?”
“Royale With Cheese”
Snow white goes into a deep coma.
The Coma Rapist
Prince charming had a thing for women in a coma after seeing the movie “Talk to Her”. He was about to kiss snow white when she woke up. In a fit of rage she killed the price, the queen, some guy called Bill for no apparent reason and those annoying chirping birds that keep hovering around her head.
Snow ate tons of blueberry pancakes and developed a pot belly.
Ezekiel 25:17. “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you.” Now… I been sayin’ that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, that meant your ass. You’d be dead right now. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin’ made me think twice. See, now I’m thinking: maybe it means you’re the evil man. And I’m the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here… he’s the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean you’re the righteous man and I’m the shepherd and it’s the world that’s evil and selfish. And I’d like that. But that shit ain’t the truth. The truth is you’re the weak. And I’m the tyranny of evil men. But I’m tryin’, Ringo. I’m tryin’ real hard to be the shepherd.
Pulp Fiction is one of those movies. You watch it once and it lingers in your imagination. Like that scene with Samuel L. Jackson quoting from the bible. I can never un-see that. It is stuck inside my mind.
This is an experiment in story mashup. I have many many ideas similar to this. Making this video was tons of fun. I laughed so much while making it. Thinking of ways to stick Kill Bill, Django Unchained and Pulp Fiction into the story of Snow White. This is Snow White Tarantino style. I decided to keep the video short, rely on the fact that most people already know the story. I don’t need to tell the whole tale, only the bits that are different.
So what other story mashup should I do next? Please tell me.
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