Write.


Book Club Questions For Spoonful Chronicles

A dear reader has asked me to provide a list of questions for her book club which is reading Spoonful Chronicles. The questions below contain mild spoilers and are intended for those who have read the novel already. If you haven’t read Spoonful Chronicles yet, please click away and return […]


Have your book and eat it too

“Does your novel contain recipes?” I kept getting asked whenever I told somebody about what I was working on. “No” I would answer. But, after being asked the same question about 20 times, I clued in that I need to find a way to say “yes”. “This is something that […]


Rocket Launch Drawing

Rocket Launch Drawing

Today my novel, Spoonful Chronicles, gets launched into the world. It is finally live. Here is the rocket launch drawing I created for this occasion. More details here: https://www.ihath.com/2017/04/05/spoonful-chronicles-is-almost-here/

Rocket Launch Drawing

For this auspicious day I decided to create a rocket launch drawing. Something that makes Spoonful Chronicles seem like a rocket that is about travel to out space with myself saluting the effort in a military style. I was inspired by a bunch of famous movie rocket launch. That moment when somebody says: “ladies and gentlemen, we have a lift off.” Always feel special.

Movies on this list would be:

Today, all those scenes are colliding into each other in my chest.

If you are wondering how to create a rocket launch drawing for a book. It’s easy. All I had to do is take an image of my kitchen totally empty.

empty kitchen

Then I took another photo with the book raised on top of a tall jar.

book on a jar

In my image editing software I layer the image with the book on top of empty kitchen. Then I erase the jar making it seem as if the book is floating in the air.

Finally, I added hand drawing to make the book look like a rocket getting launched into outer space.

And there you have it, a rocket launch drawing.

I hope you enjoy reading my novel.


A giant piece of Bacon reading Spoonful Chronicles: A novel about food

Bacon Costume

My fascination with Lady Gaga’s meat dress aside. Here I am, in a giant bacon costume, pretending to be a piece of bacon reading Spoonful Chronicles-a novel inspired by food. How would bacon review this book?

A giant piece of bacon costume reading Spoonful Chronicles: A novel about food

I am the kind of food that food lovers love. I mean who doesn’t like bacon? Everybody loves me. Because I am the so delicious. And then I read Spoonful Chronicles. I was in shock for days. The way bacon is treated is treated in the story is many shades of wrong. Imagine meeting a character that doesn’t eat pork. Immediately I hate this woman. I don’t care what happens to her. Her struggle just doesn’t matter to me any more. Why would I care about somebody who doesn’t care about me? All that drama, all that action is wasted on the wrong person. Yes the novel is well written. Yes, it’s funny. Sure tons of interesting things happen in the story. But where is the bacon? No Bacon, me no likey. In short, don’t waste your time reading this brilliant baconless book.

So what do you think this bacon costume book review? Do you agree with it.


Cracked Eggs

I was contemplating the expression “You crack me up” to mean you make me laugh so hard that I am destroyed by it. How we have a facade and that can be penetrated using humor. I used plenty of humor in the novel Spoonful Chronicles even though it deals with a serious subject matter. I have always found, in life, if you can make somebody laugh you have a better chance of getting them to listen to you as well. So here are cracked eggs. I painted a face on each one. The eggs don’t look so happy. They seem alarmed by the demise of their colleague. O the horror.

Cracked Eggs

Warning! This novel with recipes will crack you up.

I laughed lots while writing Spoonful Chronicles. In hind sight, I can see now that I was cracking my self up. Like the cracked eggs in the photo. I laughed and laughed and then there was the “Oh no” moment. A moment of painful self realization. I thought I was telling a joke, but the joke was really on me. There have been so many unexpected results of writing Spoonful Chronicles. Never in my dreams would I have imagined that I would write a light hearted novel about food and find myself traversing such dark places.

Life is full of surprises. You never know what you will encounter right around the corner.

To all the readers of Spoonful Chronicles, you have been warned. These cracked eggs can attest.

One minute you are laughing and next you discover that you have become an omelette.


Carrot Costume

My novel with recipes is about to launch. I dress in a carrot costume to impersonate a vegetable reading the book. I also wore orange pants, orange shoes and orange shirt. Read my poem on color orange for details on my fascination with the color. The giant carrot is deeply upset but what it reads.

carrot costume

So I tried to impersonate a carrot and imagine what this carrot would think of reading the novel Spoonful Chronicles. I think a carrot (or author in a carrot costume) would be deeply disturbed by this novel.

Number one, it’s not the most important vegetable in the book. Every carrot knows it’s the most important vegetable in the world. Why is there a cauliflower on the cover? This is just wrong on so many levels.

Number two, the stories in the book seem to glorify vegetable genocide. Cauliflowers, cucumbers and tomatoes are consumed left, right and center. This is an atrocity. A sensitive delicate vegetable like a carrot can’t handle such realization.

Number three, why did the author waste so much of her time writing a novel inspired by food when she could have spent the time in her garden planting carrots.

This novel is awful, disgusting, ugly and a waste of time. That is the final review of the giant carrot (aka Elen dressed in a carrot costume)

carrot costume

Book cover recreated in rodicio and cauliflower

So I had this rodicio in the fridge. All rodicio vegetable is red purple lettuce. It is bitter in taste. I enjoy using it as garnish for when I have a big party. So I had this cute idea to use rodicio to recreate the book cover for my novel Spoonful Chronicles. Here it is.

rodicio ad cauliflower

It is interesting how delighting this experience was. Something so easy and simple. And yet it brought me so much pleasure. Who knew that you could have so much fun from a simple humble lettuce. I purchased a vegetable to use as garnish for a dinner party. And it ended up affording me a bit of play time. Life is full of surprises. You never know what you gonna get.

rodicio ad cauliflower

Planned Surprise 2

Life is full of surprises my dear friend. Snow in March in Vancouver. The sun making a brief appearance after weeks and weeks of rain. Receiving a package in the mail to discover that an overseas friend sent you a gift for no reason at all–they simply felt like it. […]


If Quentin Tarantino Wrote Snow White :: Story Mashup

This is the story of Snow White Tarantino style.

Pot-bellied Snow White gorges herself on blueberry pancakes after a revenge killing spree. Wait until Prince Charming gets a hold of all this….how will he react?

Watch this video first and then read the full story below.

Chapter 1
Mirror


“Mirror mirror on the wall, who has killed the most of all” Asked the queen.
On this day, unlike all the days that came before it, there was a new answer.

mirror mirror on the wall ala pretty woman

Chapter 2
The Seven Short Psychopaths in Black Suits


Each one was named after his favorite method. Strangler. Shooter. Cleaver. Author used a sharp pen. Crusher, Poison and Tickler. All seven where happy to meet a woman who didn’t try to change them.


Now if this was a proper Quentin Tarantino story it would be peppered with the N-word. Our narrator refused to cooperate with our effort towards authenticity. So you have to use your imagination.

snow white with a sword


The Queen appeared in Snow White’s car.
“Hey, young woman, would you like a burger?”
“No thank you!”

Snow white driving a car


“But this is a french burger. Do you know what they call these in France?”
“What?”
“Royale With Cheese”
“O cool!”
Snow white goes into a deep coma.

Snow White and the  seven short psychopaths in black suits

Chapter 3
The Coma Rapist

Prince charming had a thing for women in a coma after seeing the movie “Talk to Her”. He was about to kiss snow white when she woke up. In a fit of rage she killed the price, the queen, some guy called Bill for no apparent reason and those annoying chirping birds that keep hovering around her head.

snow white kissed by price charming


Chapter 4
The Banquet

Snow ate tons of blueberry pancakes and developed a pot belly.


The End.

Snow White eating pancakes

 

Ezekiel 25:17. “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you.” Now… I been sayin’ that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, that meant your ass. You’d be dead right now. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin’ made me think twice. See, now I’m thinking: maybe it means you’re the evil man. And I’m the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here… he’s the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean you’re the righteous man and I’m the shepherd and it’s the world that’s evil and selfish. And I’d like that. But that shit ain’t the truth. The truth is you’re the weak. And I’m the tyranny of evil men. But I’m tryin’, Ringo. I’m tryin’ real hard to be the shepherd.

Pulp Fiction is one of those movies. You watch it once and it lingers in your imagination. Like that scene with Samuel L. Jackson quoting from the bible. I can never un-see that. It is stuck inside my mind.

This is an experiment in story mashup. I have many many ideas similar to this. Making this video was tons of fun. I laughed so much while making it. Thinking of ways to stick Kill Bill, Django Unchained and Pulp Fiction into the story of Snow White. This is Snow White Tarantino style. I decided to keep the video short, rely on the fact that most people already know the story. I don’t need to tell the whole tale, only the bits that are different.

So what other story mashup should I do next? Please tell me.

You might enjoy watching If The OA was a prequel to The Walking Dead 


Intense Emotion

Sometimes I experience volcanic intense emotion. As if all is life and death. How turn that around into ease and comfort?


Author Reading on April 11th 1

Books provide the best nourishment. On Monday April 11 I will be reading from my novel Graffiti Hack. Vancouver Public Library Downtown Vancouver 6:00 – 8:00 pm Alma VanDusen and Peter Kaye rooms 350 West Georgia Street. Free Copies of Graffiti Hack will be available for sale.


Story of a Fish :: Flamenco Dance Story 3

I signed up to participate in the Vancouver Story Slam on March 8th. I took a story from my novel Graffiti Hack and worked on it to shorten it so that it would fit in the 5 minute time limit. My novel is a story that has several stories within […]


Part 3 in my “how to name a novel odyssey” 1

I am in pure state of distress. My novel is nearing completion, yet a name for it has not arrived. Thinking about names for this thing is now a daily preoccupation. Part 1 and Part 2 of this story are not helping. So here is a third attempt. Meat metaphorically […]