My novel with recipes is about to launch. I dress in a carrot costume to impersonate a vegetable reading the book. I also wore orange pants, orange shoes and orange shirt. Read my poem on color orange for details on my fascination with the color. The giant carrot is deeply upset but what it reads.

So I tried to impersonate a carrot and imagine what this carrot would think of reading the novel Spoonful Chronicles. I think a carrot (or author in a carrot costume) would be deeply disturbed by this novel.

Number one, it’s not the most important vegetable in the book. Every carrot knows it’s the most important vegetable in the world. Why is there a cauliflower on the cover? This is just wrong on so many levels.

Number two, the stories in the book seem to glorify vegetable genocide. Cauliflowers, cucumbers and tomatoes are consumed left, right and center. This is an atrocity. A sensitive delicate vegetable like a carrot can’t handle such realization.

Number three, why did the author waste so much of her time writing a novel inspired by food when she could have spent the time in her garden planting carrots.

This novel is awful, disgusting, ugly and a waste of time. That is the final review of the giant carrot (aka Elen dressed in a carrot costume)