Feeling frustrated with how hummus is treated in the west I decided to make a video to teach you how to eat hummus properly. With a little twist. Let hummus speak for itself.
Next time you sit down to eat a hummus I want you to imagine that the plate of hummus is talking to you. It would say something like this.
I am a humble plate of hummus, made from simple ingredients. For centuries I have satisfied the hunger of down-to-earth people of all shapes and sizes. And then I traveled from the middle east to Europe and north america where more people are able to enjoy my goodness. This is good. Very good. Since I offer nutrition, fulfillment and joy, I don’t care who partakes. The more the merrier. However, I feel that I am misunderstood in the new countries. People are making me into some fancy culinary experience. You offend my modesty. Really! Stop attaching fancy labels to my ancient name. Organic. Gluten free. Vegetarian. Vegan. Low is saturated fat. Honestly! I don’t know what any of these words even mean. I am just hummus. I don’t need titles. You don’t have to call me Mr. Hummus … nothing special. Then people start adding all sorts of fancy ingredients. Sun dried tomatoes, spinach, fire roasted red peppers….what is next? You will add chocolate chips? Come on! Give me a break. You are missing the point. I am not Cinderella at the ball … no no no …. I am her ugly half-sister who is rejected by the prince and ends up marrying the farmer’s son next door and raises 8 children. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese no fancy ingredients. Only chickpeas, olive oil, sesame paste and lemon juice. If you really want to dress me up, that is ok. Even Cinderella’s ugly half-sister liked to dress up to the ball. Decorate me with some parsley, pickled cucumbers, tomato or anything else that would add a touch of color to my drab appearance. Perhaps you think I am being cheesy with all the humbleness shtick. I am from the middle east, I am never cheesy, I am hummusy. What are you looking at? Go ahead and eat me. Don’t just look at me in admiration. I disapprove of admiration. Offends my humbleness. Noooooooooooo! not the spoon. Where I come from, people use their fingers to eat and their bums to sit down. It’s only in the west that you people feel compelled to create a device for natural functions. An implement for eating, a device for sitting. You people are crazy. Just grab a piece of bread and use your fingers. Yes! That is it. How to eat hummus? This is the right way. Yalla, yalla. Try it. Yah! Like that. Now isn’t that better? O and share me with a friend. My humble self loves sharing. Make sure to show your friend how to eat hummus like I showed you. Ok? Ok!
All hummus was consumed shortly after the production of this video, there was no wastage. I am worried that after my kids watch this video, I will never be able to tell them “Don’t play with your food”, since I am certain that making videos with food is considered a form of playing.
Yalla is an arabic expression that can mean “come on” a type of encouragement to do something or it can mean “hurry up”
Hopefully this has made you crave hummus. Here is my hummus recipe.