Discovering Happy Pills

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, listen up. Today! for the very first time I will share with you my amazing discovery of a miracle pill. I give you happy pills. After years of long research and tireless quest, I would like to present to you a pill that will make you happy, improve your sex life, make you look great and change your life forever. This is a one time special offer of a radical patent pending discovery of ihath’s miracle pill. Normally the one month supply of happy pills cost’s 300 dollars; but for you my dear and loyal readers, I will offer you one months supply for free. Yes! you heard that right absolutely free. All you have to do is read the below post and follow the instructions to get your hands on this one time opportunity to get to true happiness.

Oh! I know what you are thinking. You are thinking this is too good to be true, if I had happy pills why would I be sharing it with you for free, I should use it to make myself a millionaire, either that or happy pills simply doesn’t work. Well I can understand your skepticism. I have been stung by false or exaggerated advertising before, but believe me this is no spam email promising to enlarge your body parts, no no, this that I offer you today is the real thing. I know, I know you have been promised happiness before only to be disappointed, kinda reminds me of a story.

When I was a kid I watched a soap commercial. A man is in the shower using a particular bar of soap when he turns around you see a mini surfing man surfing on his back, between his shoulder blades. So I told my mom that I wanted to buy the soap that will make the mini surfing man appear on my back. I was in shock to discover that there is no such thing. There is no soap that will make a mini surfing man appear on your back. You mean it’s not real? I later made my mom buy me that particular brand of soap to verify for myself that it doesn’t work. It makes you smell nice, but no mini surfing man.

I used to enjoy herbal essence shampoo, it made my hair smell nice. But then they came up with a commercial that shows women having an orgasm while using herbal essence shampoo in the shower. Look at the picture of the happy satisfied woman who has just used the shampoo. It’s funny how I am never that satisfied after using a shampoo of any kind. Maybe there is something wrong with me. So I stopped buying herbal essence shampoo, it doesn’t work as advertised. Or maybe I was using it wrong.

I realized that there was something wrong one day, when my husband and I would be chatting to each other during the commercial break and as soon as the program would come on both of us would stop in mid conversation and go back to watching T.V. Shouldn’t I be finding my husband more interesting that “Magnum PI”. My husband is right here, next to me, he is here when I need him. Plus my husband is 100% more handsome and 300% more intelligent.

I called my friend one day for a chat, she said that her favorite show “Friends” was on. She couldn’t talk to me right then because she was watching “Friends”. I thought to myself, wouldn’t you rather talk to a real friend, that really cares about you and is a real person, than watching your pretend friends?

All these questions were swirling around in the back of my mind. And then, I went to see “

Manufacturing Consent

” the movie. Well! you just have to see the movie. Shortly afterwards I took my T.V. and locked it in the closet in my bedroom and declared that no more T.V watching. My husband and I succumbed to the temptation a few times and we would unlock the closet and watch T.V. but for the most part we were good. Eventually I gave the T.V. set away.

A week ago, after dinner and homework, my three kids got together and organized a dance all by themselves. My eldest daughter who is 9 years old was the director, she organized the whole thing. Afterwards they performed the dance for me and their dad. My husband and I clapped our hands in delight. We don’t own a T.V set, my kids have to use their own imagination to entertain themselves.

People frequently wonder how I have time to work full time, raise three kids, train to be in a 10K race in mid April, be politically active, dance flamenco and write a blog. The answer is simple, I don’t own a T.V. set, I need to use my own imagination to entertain myself.

I don’t sit around watching a hockey match, If I feel in an sporty kinds mood, I go out for a run, or I go kayaking, or hiking or whatever else strikes my fancy. After getting rid of my T.V set, being the couch potato became boring so I had to get moving.

The second most enjoyable part about not owning a T.V. is story time in the evenings before the kids go to bed. Either me or my husband will read a story to the kids, we make dramatic renditions of all the characters and watch the look of amazement in my kids eyes as we tell tales of adventure and heroism. When you don’t own a T.V. your kids become amazed and dazzled by their parents. You learn to become dazzling to them. You become the star of your own house hold.

The best part about getting rid of the TV is sex life. When you don’t own a TV, your spouse and you learn to use your own imagination.

I haven’t owned a TV set for six years. Most people are surprised when I tell them that. Here are some of the responses I got from different people.

So what do you do in the evenings after the kids go to bed? You just sit across from your husband, each reading a book? And then you discuss the books your read? Hahahaha, that must be so boring.

Is that for religious reasons? Do you belong to some kind of a cult?

What about your kids? If they don’t watch TV, they will become social outcasts at school not having the same cultural references that their peers do. They will grow up to become geeks.

I can’t live without my Seinfeld.

So what do you do when your kids drive you crazy? I would go mad if it wasn’t for the cartoon channel.

But you look like a normal person!

One day I will learn to get rid of my computer and learn to live completely in the real world. Given my profession, it will be a bit of a challenge.

Anyway I have been rambling and you are just dieing to know how to get your hands on those happy pills. All you have to do is follow the instructions below and a one month supply of ihath’s happy pills will arrive by mail absolutely free.

1. Turn off your TV for two weeks. No TV viewing allowed.

2. Spend time with people you like during the same two week interval.

3. Take yourself out for a date by yourself at least once on each week. All you have to do is go out and do something that you enjoy greatly and you have to do it by yourself, no friends, spouses or kids allowed to accompany you. It might be going to see a show, going for a walk, visiting an art gallery or dining in a fine restaurant. It doesn’t matter what, as long as it is something you enjoy.

4. Email this post to 5 of your friends.

If you follow the above instructions religiously your free supply of happy pills will arrive shortly after. How will ihath know that you have followed the instructions? Because big ihath is watching you. I will know.

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